For most of us, family and soul mate are some of the most important people and aspects of life. In the spirits of Hari Raya, keep the loves lasting between you and your family, as well as soul mate, by these 3 simple guidelines.
Don’t take things personally
Sometimes, the harshest comments may come from the people we valued most. Parents and in-laws especially can be the worst critics in the whole world. Or it might be your beloved’s not-so-enthusiastic replies. Sure, such comments would have stung; but half the time, they just don’t mean what they said, or, in the case of parents, it might just be the way that time has shaped them. If that is the case, just don’t let the comments get to your head, and forgive them for the slip. It is the best gift after all, particularly during this festive season.
2. Have fun together
Try new activities, pick up new hobbies, explore new places for new adventures—together with the people you love (your dearest spouse, your mom & dad, your in-laws etc). Through new activities and ideas, you and your beloved might get the chance to discover some talents you’ve never realize you have, or some secret tips that your mom or mom-in-law knew, but never mention. If you have children, take them out for a trip together. You’d be amazed at how much they could show you the world in a refreshing point of view. And during this Hari Raya, try baking homemade sweets and snacks together with your family and children; or perform any ritual together. Nothing beats the fun in a whole family activity.
3. Willing to negotiate expectations
We know that none of us can achieve 100% perfection. Sometimes, admitting your faults to each other is the first step towards understanding and a long, loving relationship. Even more important if it involves new changes or adaptations due to circumstances, such as one out of both working spouse lost his/her job due to the current slowdown. It will take some time for the jobless spouse to get use to his/her current situation, and for the working spouse to handle the financial burden. Give each other time to sort out and prepare; acknowledge the need to take things by each other’s own pace, and compromise a little when necessary.
Lasting love within a family, as well as between spouses is not something impossible. And during the Raya season, this is just the time to ask for forgiveness and share the love.