While Malaysia celebrates her 52nd independence anniversary, some couples might also be celebrating their decades-long wedding anniversaries as well. So, what keeps a marriage going? What made it possible to fulfill the “till death do us part” vow?
For our grandmothers and mothers, divorce rates during their time are less compared to our time now. It might be the stigma that society sees with divorced women during those times that discouraged most from initiating the step. But for those who had truly stood with their husbands until present, they have their own advice and tips.
Only True Love?
Most of them would have told you with a smile that true love is not everything, or the only thing between couples. The dynamics in a relationship will not remain unchanged for years.
“Marriage is when you will spend the rest of your lifetime with another person. And it is not easy to begin with.” Madam Lum, a housewife, had admit that it did took some time to get used to married life, during the start of her 50-years marriage. The differences in habits, little quirks in each other’s life. “In the end, it is either learning to accept each other’s differences, or nothing will work out.”
“When you’re married, you’ll have a new role to fulfill, new expectations to meet.” Ann Lee said. Married for 10 years to her husband, the school teacher admit that she, as a wife now, is expected to raise children, take care of the household and her husband, aside from her own career. “There will be compromises and sacrifice, but a marriage comes with responsibilities that you cannot avoid.”
“But being married doesn’t mean you quit your life!” 55 years-old Joy laughed. The retiree now lives with her husband in their old home in Pasir Pinji, where both still find the time to indulge with each other’s interests(she likes a nice read once in a while he likes fishing) and meet up with each other’s friends. “It’s like giving each other some breathing space.” She added with a smile.
Learning to cope with a new life, accepting the responsibilities of a new role, and adjusting to a new level of relationship is the core in a successful, long-lasting marriage. While love had been the spark, communication and efforts to understand each others and sharing burdens is the glue to solidify the vow of “till death do us part”.