No, don’t get it wrong. We are not talking about mumbo-jumbos and curses. Whether it is today’s more open-minded society or the yesteryears of conservative communities; couples, especially Asian couples, don’t always realize the magic in their intimate relationships. It may be due to the taboo surrounding anything about sex ingrained in our own upbringing, that we usually overlook the finer details in an act that was considered a sacred gift to married couples, something natural; yet still being viewed as something vile.
Enjoying an intimate moment is not just about reaching orgasms, or just satisfying physical lust. It is a moment where the souls of each spouse connect with each other, expressing their wants, their emotions, their thoughts to one another, with touch, kisses, instead of mere words. It is the process, of feeling each other, bringing each other pleasure; that is the most precious, not just the orgasmic end. And it is in the process herein that the magic of sex lies in.
For couples who wished to improve their quality of sex life, to find the magic within, experts have recommended a few tips that are save to try, and easy to get in action.
- Make space for an undisturbed period of time. A locked bedroom is the best idea. Spend this time with your partner or spouse.
- As both of you are together, take the time to admire, cherish and feel each other’s presence; synchronize each other’s breathing.
- Try to hear each other’s intentions. Acknowledge any concern, fears or discomfort you may experience.
The main point here is, to be able to share and learn to feel your spouse or partner. Acknowledging each other—feelings, thoughts, even fears and emotions, is the basics in a bond of trust, further reinforcing a sense of security with each other. That is where the magic can be found.
For most of us, family and soul mate are some of the most important people and aspects of life. In the spirits of Hari Raya, keep the loves lasting between you and your family, as well as soul mate, by these 3 simple guidelines.
Don’t take things personally
Sometimes, the harshest comments may come from the people we valued most. Parents and in-laws especially can be the worst critics in the whole world. Or it might be your beloved’s not-so-enthusiastic replies. Sure, such comments would have stung; but half the time, they just don’t mean what they said, or, in the case of parents, it might just be the way that time has shaped them. If that is the case, just don’t let the comments get to your head, and forgive them for the slip. It is the best gift after all, particularly during this festive season.
2. Have fun together
Try new activities, pick up new hobbies, explore new places for new adventures—together with the people you love (your dearest spouse, your mom & dad, your in-laws etc). Through new activities and ideas, you and your beloved might get the chance to discover some talents you’ve never realize you have, or some secret tips that your mom or mom-in-law knew, but never mention. If you have children, take them out for a trip together. You’d be amazed at how much they could show you the world in a refreshing point of view. And during this Hari Raya, try baking homemade sweets and snacks together with your family and children; or perform any ritual together. Nothing beats the fun in a whole family activity.
3. Willing to negotiate expectations
We know that none of us can achieve 100% perfection. Sometimes, admitting your faults to each other is the first step towards understanding and a long, loving relationship. Even more important if it involves new changes or adaptations due to circumstances, such as one out of both working spouse lost his/her job due to the current slowdown. It will take some time for the jobless spouse to get use to his/her current situation, and for the working spouse to handle the financial burden. Give each other time to sort out and prepare; acknowledge the need to take things by each other’s own pace, and compromise a little when necessary.
Lasting love within a family, as well as between spouses is not something impossible. And during the Raya season, this is just the time to ask for forgiveness and share the love.
